Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support
From her mother's eyes
Abigail Hope Mahy was born on September 2, 2016 at just 24 weeks 6 days gestation. She weighed 15.4oz and measured 12.5".
She lived her entire life in my womb but lived much longer than that in our hearts. We struggled with secondary infertility and prayed for her for over two and a half years before we conceived her. We praised God for her even before we knew of her. She was many answered prayers, a beautiful daughter of God, the amazing little sister that made Isabel a big sister and a sweet angel who grew our hearts in ways we never knew possible.
My pregnancy with Abigail was much better than my first pregnancy with her big sis, Isabel. I wasn't as sick and I had more energy throughout. I would talk to her daily, tell her how much we loved her and how much God loved her. I loved feeling her move. I think that's my favorite part about pregnancy. Those little jabs and kicks are so wonderful to feel.
Isabel’s relationship with her sister was so beautiful. Every night she would thank God for “the healthy baby in my mommy’s tummy”. She would lift up my shirt, kiss my belly and say, “I love you baby” and sometimes even go to lift my dress but thankfully not in front of anyone. She knew that our baby was a girl before doctors confirmed. After our 20-week ultrasound, we were so excited to tell her that our baby was a girl thinking she’d be so happy but instead, we got the “duh, I already knew that” look. Isabel would talk about all the things that she was going to teach her baby sister and that she would make sure she didn’t put small toys in her mouth. Her love for Abigail was so big from day one.
Abigail was a pretty active little girl until just under her 24 week mark. At my 24 week appointment, I brought it up to our doctor but with such a strong heartbeat, he said it was normal. The following couple of days, I felt her kick less so I went to labor and delivery for them to check her heartbeat. Clark was out of town so my mother in law came with me. Thankfully, Isabel was at home with our Aunt but at the time, I wasn't expecting anything but to hear a strong heartbeat and head home. I didn't. The nurse couldn't find a heartbeat. She brought in the ultrasound machine and nothing. Even so, I wasn't worried. My baby was alive and well. Then my doctor came in, performed another ultrasound and said those dreaded words "I'm so sorry Sara, there is no heartbeat". I was crushed. All I could say was "no". I didn't want to accept it. He explained that it looked like the umbilical cord was possibly wrapped around her neck. I delivered her two days after finding out that her heart had stopped and they confirmed that it was a cord accident. Writing this, still breaks my heart.
Yes, it was difficult and we were in shock but Abigail’s birth was one of the most beautiful events of my life. Despite the report, we still had hope in God and His miracles and that’s what got us through. Our room was filled with wonderful friends and family, lots of prayers, worship music and God’s amazing presence. Though we were brokenhearted, there was so much peace that filled our room.
The time we spent with Abigail was short, tender and really unexplainable. We snuggled her, kissed her, read to her, sang songs to her, soaked her in in every way possible, memorized her face and little body and we just wept. One of my favorite memories will always be the first time that Isabel met her baby sister. She walked into the room and immediately asked where Abigail was, hopped into bed with me, uncovered her and smiled. She looked at her with so much love and said, “Oh, she is so precious”. She gave her tender hugs and sweet kisses, counted her toes, asked about her ouchies, then saw a plate of fries and said, “Oh, I want some French fries”. She has asked questions beyond her years and has truly amazed us during this experience. She loves her baby sister and always will.
Even though I wish with all my heart that our Abigail could still be with us, I find some peace in knowing that I will have eternity with her in Heaven.
Thank you for taking the time to read our dear Abigail's story.
Abigail's Hope Founder & President
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